jaybeeshinoda

Chester Bennington my number 1 fan part 5

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 21:42:51 GMT

"I'm so excited mom."
Shannon told me the evening before we where to leave. And I had to admit it so was I. The photo's Chaz had emailed me of the house he had found for me and Shannon where amazing. It was the house I had always dreamed of. Not huge but just spacious enough it was four beds three and a half baths. And the best thing just around the corner from Chaz and Mike.
"Yeah me too sweetheart"
I told her smiling. I couldn't wait to get back to the city I loved. But most of all the best friends I had ever had.
"Are you all packed up honey?"
We where only taking our personal things. I was renting the apartment out with all the furnishings included. I would miss the old place, But it was here if I needed it one day. I was so deep in though I never heard the phone ring.
"Mom, mom the phone."
Shannon shouted at me pulling me from my thoughts.
"Hello!"
I said as I answered the phone. I felt my face flush as I heard Chester on the other end of the line.
"Hey You guys all ready?"
He asked me. God when had he started making me feel like this again. I felt like a silly little school girl talking to her first boyfriend on the phone. I missed him like hell so did Shannon.
"Yeah nearly. Shannon is driving me mad. She is so excited. She misses you do you to talk to her?"
"Yeah I miss her too."
I know he had only just found out about Shannon. But they where so close already it was as if they had always been together. As I handed Shannon the phone I started to run though my lists I had made. To make sure I hadn't forgotten anything And it all looked good.
"Mom"
Shannon shouted at me.
"Sorry what honey?"
"Chester wants to talk to you again"
She still didn't call him dad but that would come in time I hoped.
"Hey Chaz"
I said as I took the phone from Shannon.
"The guys told me to tell you they will be at the new house at two tomorrow. To help you with whatever you need."
I felt my stomach fall. Why wasn't he going to be there to meet us. I guess he must have read my mind because he spoke again.
"Will it be ok for me to be there to?"
Why was he asking me that. I had kind of expected him to be.
"Yeah Chaz. We both want you to be there."
Why did he feel as though he had to ask. While he had been here we had all spent time together. Why should it be different there.
"Its just I have got the boys and I didn't know how you would feel about it."
"Do they know about Shannon?"
I asked him. There was no way I wanted him there if we had to hide the fact Shannon was his daughter.
"Yeah"
He answered I could feel the smile in his voice.
"They can't wait to meet her. They all wanted a sister and now they have one. Do you think Shannon will mind?"
I had no idea the thought never occurred to me.
"Just a sec Chaz"
I said as I covered the mouth piece.
"Shannon you dad wants to be there when we get to LA but he’s got the boys. So honey will that be ok with you. Or do you want to wait and see your dad on his own another time."
"That's ok mom. I would like to meet them. And I will have someone to play with instead of helping you grown ups."
She told me with a great big cheeky smile. She really looked like her dad when she did that.
"Hey Chaz sorry about that. I just asked Shannon and she said she would like you all to be there. So she will have someone to play with. And she wont have to help us boring grown ups."
I told him with a giggle. I could hear him laughing on the other end of the phone. God I loved his laugh.
"Right honey I better get off before the boys kill each other. See you both tomorrow."
"Yeah see you tomorrow Chaz."
I said as I hung up the telephone.
"Right Shannon if you have packed everything. I think you should get to bed. We have a long journey ahead of us. And we have to be up very early. Go and brush you teeth and get in bed. I will be in in a minute."
I told her as she walked toward the bathroom. When I tucked Shannon up in bed. I went to my own room and climbed into bed. Maybe if I got some sleep it would get rid of the butterfly's in my stomach. I was wrong. As I lay in the bed looking up at the ceiling my mind was full of thoughts of Chester . And the more I thought about him the worse they got.
When the alarm went off the next morning. I felt as if I had just closed my eyes. I didn't even get a minute to wake up. Because within seconds Shannon was in my room jumping on the bed.
"Come on mom get up. I want to go."
She told me as she jumped on the bed. I didn't want to get up. I was so tired but I did. We had to leave in an hour and I need to wake up a bit first.

The journey was unbearable. As we grew nearer LA Shannon became more and more excited and my nerves wore thinner. As we drove down the street where our new house was situated we where both relieved.
"Mom is that it there?"
I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The photographs didn't do it justice. I thought as I pulled into the driveway. It was truly a beautiful house. From its white picket fence. To the gorgeous two story house itself. It looked so bright, friendly and inviting. I felt at home right from the moment the car had entered LA. Now looking at that house I knew I truly was home.
"Mom?"
I totally forgot about Shannon for a moment to wrapped up in my own thoughts.
"What honey?"
"Is this it? Is this our new house?"
"Yes Shannon it is. Do you think your going to like it here?"
"Yeah mom. Is that whole lawn there ours?"
We had never had a house or garden of our own. And I could understand how Shannon felt. When I left LA I moved straight into my apartment. I rented it at first but after Shannon was born I got myself a mortgage. And we had lived there ever since. We had to share a lawn with the other twelve apartments. And as I didn't like to spend time in other peoples company. We had stayed out of that most of the time. So I could understand her shock at seeing such a huge garden.
"Yes it is honey it is."
I said as I smiled down at her. She looked so much like her father when she smiled. Where the hell was Chaz he had promised to be here when we arrived. I thought as I walked over to the front door. I just hoped there was someone here I had no keys. I turned the door handle the door gently swung open.
"Welcome home."
I couldn't believe what I was seeing. All the guys where there. The house was decorated with banners and balloons. And I could see just beyond the living room in what must have been the dinning room there was a table laid with food and drink.
"Hi"
Shannon shouted running into the room and wrapping her arms around Chester. He looked surprised at first but soon bent over to give his little girl a great big hug.
"Ella are you going to stand there all day"
Mike asked me. I had been that happy to see the exchange between Shannon and Chester that I had forgotten that everyone else was there.
"Hi guys sorry I guess I was just surprised"
I said as I walked into the room and hugged each and every one of them in turn. As I walked closer to Chester to give him a hug. I noticed the two little boys hiding behind the dad.
""Hi you must be Draven and Tyler. Your daddy has told me all about you. Hi Chaz"
I said as I smiled at them. Chester looked almost as excited as Shannon as he asked Shannon what she thought of her new home. And he was just bursting to get us outside .
"Come on you two I've got to show you the garden."
Shannon looked at him as if he had lost his mind.
"But we saw the garden Chester"
She said with her. You're a crazy grown up look on her face.
"No that was just the front lawn honey. Come out here and then you can tell me if you like the house I chose for you."
I couldn't believe what I saw when I walked through the door. The whole garden was almost as big as the one I had to share in the apartment. Then it dawned on me. How the hell was I supposed to afford a house like this.
" Do you see that house there honey. That's uncle Mikes and Anna's. And this house just here is mine. So we will be able to see each other all the time. You could even wave to me from your bedroom."
Chester looked so happy so I knew now was not the time to bring the cost of the house up . And the fact that there was no way we could afford to stay here.
"Shannon I think its time you got something to eat and then we can unpack."
"But mom I'm not hungry. Cant me and Dravon and Tyler play out here while you grown ups talk."
I knew just what she meant by that. She wanted us boring grown ups to do it all. And I guessed it would give me and Chester chance to talk about the house.
"Ok if its ok with them and Chester."
Chester just smiled as they all went off to play.
"I guess its fine with me. It would have to be they didn't give me much of a choice."
He told me as we walked back toward the house. Now was as good a time as any.
"Chester"
Was all I got out. I just didn't know how to explain things.
"What Ella?"
He asked me with the most beautiful smile on his face. I didn't want to do it. But we couldn't stay here. There was no way I could make enough money.
"This house is so beautiful. But we just cant afford it."
He just looked thoughtful for a moment and then the smile came back.
"No maybe you cant but we can."
What the hell did he mean by that. He had his own house just across the lawn. He must have seen the fright on my face because he quickly followed up what he said.
"Ella you have never had anything from me for Shannon. You have done everything alone. And now I think its time I helped. Maybe you don't want my help. But I need to. Well I need to have you guys as close to me as I can. I've lost so much and wasted so much time so now I'm making it up to you both. Do you understand?"
"Yeah I do but…."
"But nothing I am paying the rent. I took the house out on a years contract so you either take it. Or I have wasted my money. Its up to you."
I couldn't believe how firmly he had said it.
"Chester you don't have to. We have always got by."
"You don't have to now I'm here. And I want you here so I can take care of you both. Please say yes."
"Ok Chaz thanks."

Chester Bennington my number 1 fan part 4

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 21:36:11 GMT

The show was amazing. The guys still had the same enthusiasm and passion that they had all those years ago. Shannon just stood there with her mouth hanging open watching her father. He was truly the greatest singer I had ever seen.
After the show finished Chester ran straight over to us.
"So have I still got it then Ella?"
Oh god did he ever. If I hadn't been backstage I would have been screaming my lungs out. And god was he ever sexy.
"Not bad for an old man Chaz."
I told him with a giggle.
"So what did you think of your old dad the honey?"
"Wow wow wow"
Was all Shannon could say. It must have pleased Chester because he was smiling from ear to ear.
"Do you want to wait for me and I'll give you a lift home?"
I didn't know if we should. But it sure beat having to take the bus.
"Yeah I think we will. Shannon seems pretty tired and I don't think it would be that great to go on the bus at this time of night."
"NO I think your right. I'm just going to take a shower. You don't want to be having to smell me all the way back to your place."
He said as he walked back into the dressing room. It only took he five minutes and he was ready to go.
"That was quick are you sure you had a shower?"
I said as I sniffed him and let out a giggle.
"Cheeky, do I smell ok Shannon?"
"Yeah you smell lovely."
She said smelling him deeply. As she looked at him adoringly. It made me happy to see the way she was taking to him.
"See you don't have any taste Ella."
He said as he walked over to his car. Shannon spoke to him non stop all the way home. Even if I had wanted to I don't think I would have been able to get a word in. When we got back to the apartment building. Chester got out of the car and locked the door.
"Right I'll just make sure you girls get in ok. Then I'll get off back to the hotel."
"Mommy can Chester stay for a hot chocolate? I'm not tired yet."
She said with a yawn. But I knew she just wanted to spend more time with him,
"Its ok with me. If he wants to."
I said looking at him. He look so handsome tonight. It was as if all the years had melted away. And he was the Chester I had spent the best nights of my life with. The only man I had let touch me in the last 9 years. God I wished I could have gone back to that night. I would have gone through everything again just to spend another night with him.
"Mommy are you going to unlock the door then"
"Sorry I guess I was in a world of my own."
I said as I took the keys out of my bag and tried to open the door. It was only as I tried to put the key in the lock. That I noticed how badly my hands were shaking.
"Hey let me do that for you."
Chester said as he took the keys out of my hand. As his hand brushed mine it started shaking more. No man had ever had this effect on me. And I was suddenly embarrassed. He had noticed how badly I was shaking. Had he noticed how much worse it had got when he had touched me.
"Mommy?"
Shannon said from inside the apartment.
"Sorry honey I'm just coming. So who wants some hot chocolate."
I asked as I walked into the kitchen. I needed to put as much space between me and Chester as possible.
"Yes please mom."
"Yes please Ella"
They both shouted from the living room. I could hear Chester asking what Shannon had thought of the show. I could tell she was impressed with her daddy. I really wished I had not let so much time go past. I should have told him as soon as I had found out about Shannon. But it was to late to think like that. What was done. Was done.
When I had finished making the drinks I noticed how quiet it had become in the living room. When I walked in I saw Shannon asleep on Chester. He didn't seen bothered about it. In fact he looked completely relaxed and content.
"I guess its just two for the hot chocolate then."
I said to him with a smile.
"Yeah she was exhausted. Are you sure? I don't mind if you want me to leave."
"No stay for a little bit. I don't often have anyone to talk to when she's asleep. And it can get kind of lonely."
"Cool I would like that. Have you thought anymore about moving back to LA?"
I had thought of nothing else since Mike had asked me. It would be great for Shannon to be near her dad. And I would love to be able to spend time with all my friends again. But every time I thought about it. Phil popped into my head. Would I ever dare walk the streets of LA again. God I didn't know but I wanted to. If I left to give it a try I would loose my job and my home. And if it didn't work I would have to start all over again. I didn't know if I had the strength to do it again. I had to do what was best for Shannon. I knew what was best for her now was to spend time with her father.
"Chester I really want to. It would be great for you and Shannon and for my career . I would even be able to hang out with all my friends again. And I want that more than anything. But I'm just so afraid."
I told him truthfully. What was the point in lying to him now. As he looked at me with his gorgeous brown eyes I wanted to melt.
"Is it Phil your worried about? You know you don't have to be don't you. He wouldn't ever bother you again. He learned his lesson the last time."
What did he mean by that. There was so much fury in his eyes as he spoke. It scared me a little. I had never seen him look that way before. HE might have acted the rock star on stage with his hard stares. But I knew the real man. He was just so gentle his eyes were like windows to his soul. Kind, soft , gentle and most of all fun.
"What do you mean by that Chester"
I asked him. As he just stared blankly into space.
"I mean he got taught a lesson he wont forget for a very, very long time."
"Why what did you do?"
"It wasn't just me. We all cared about you. Do you know he had the nerve to come and see us play a week after he…..Well you know what he did. He even had the nerve to walk up to Mike and ask him if he had seen you. Mike told him you had gone on holiday to see your family. Then he brought him over to the rest of us guys. I had to fight with my self so I didn't just go up to him. And punch him in the face. But Mike said we had to play it cool. We had a drink with him which led to two three. You get the point. Anyway when he was good and drunk we told him we would give him a ride home. It took the fucker ten minutes to realize we where going the wrong way. By then he had started to panic. He tried to get out of the van. I couldn't help but wonder if he was thinking about how that had made you feel. But had he fuck. Rob asked him if he knew why he was locked in the van. And do you know what he had no idea. Brad the pulled the van over and asked him if he knew where he was. All he knew was that it was a parking lot. Rob climbed out of the van and open the rear door to show him just where we where. It only took a second for it to dawn on him. I dragged him out of the van. And straight to the spot where we had found you that night. And asked him again if he knew what had happened there. He was pleading now and begging. Phoenix grabbed him and shoved his head toward the floor. He asked him if he knew who’s the blood on the tarmac belonged to. And did he know how it got there. He was crying now, I couldn't believe the nerve of the guy crying after what he had done to you. So I hit him. And I kept hitting him until he was on the ground. I was mad at how he had hurt you. That he had made you leave. I kept shouting at him telling him if you ever came back and he went near you. How I would kill him. He just laughed at me. God I was so fucking mad now. He kept saying I was the one that the whore had fucked. Mike couldn't stand by now and he started beating on him. Then he was begging again saying he would do what ever we told him to. Just to make sure the guys all got stuck into him. When we left him. He was a bloody mess who promised us he would leave town and never come back. And do you know what he hasn't. So you see your safe."
I couldn't believe what he had told me. I should have been sickened by it. But I knew he had done it for me. Because he loved me. All the guys had. I felt better about my decision now.
"Chaz I'm coming home."
I told him as I took hold of his shaking hand. He had been that way since he had started telling me what had happened. He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it so softly.
"I promise you, you wont regret it. Nobody will ever hurt you while I'm around. And I will always be around for my number one fan."
He said as he kissed my hand again. I had always felt safe with him. And I knew he meant what he

I sat and chatted to Chester about old times. And all the time he could get to spend with Shannon when we moved back to LA. I could see he was looking foreword to it just as much as I was. But what would Shannon think about it. I guess I would have to find that out tomorrow.
"Hey Ella do you remember when we played that little club. You know that one were you had to wipe your feet when you walked out?"
"Yeah I remember. God it was so disgusting. But they sure did a mean cocktail."
"Yeah I drank that many I don't remember leaving."
"And Mike puked all over the club manager. God it was so funny. What was he said to him before we left?"
Chester looked thoughtful for a moment. Then started to laugh.
"Ha ha I remember. He told him to frame it. He was going to be a famous artist and it would be worth a fortune one day."
"Yeah it was colourful."
I said laughing as well. I was really enjoying spending this time with him. It was so comfortable like we had never been apart.
"Oh god what time is it?"
Chester asked me. I had no idea I had totally lost track of the time. But it was starting to get light.
"Its half four. I cant believe we have been chatting all night."
I said yawning. I was tired now and just a look at Chaz I knew he was to. But I didn't want him to leave. Then I had an idea.
"Hey Chaz why don't you sleep here tonight."
He just looked at me. He looked so shocked. Then it dawned on me, He thought I meant with me.
"The sofa pulls out into a bed."
He had the strangest look on his face. And for once I just couldn't read it. Was he relived that I didn't mean with me, Or was it disappointment. I just didn't know.
"Are you sure. I do kind of feel to tired to drive?"
"Yeah Shannon will be really happy to see you first thing in the morning."
"Yeah I hope so. But I look that great fist thing in the morning. I might scare her."
He said with a giggle. The last time I had seen him first thing in the morning. He looked like the sexiest man on the planet.
"Yeah well remember you said that when I wake up screaming."
I said as I walked into the bedroom to get him some blankets. Once the bed was made. I turned to go to my room.
"Night Chaz. Thanks for today we both had fun. And thanks for standing up for me."
I said as I turned out the light.
"No thank you Ella. Sleep well."
It took me so long to fall asleep. All I could think was that the man of my dreams. Was sleeping in the next room to me. I wished I could have curled up on that sofa with him. Like I did all those years ago at Mikes. As I thought back to that night I finally drifted off into a restless sleep. And my dreams were of him.
I woken in the morning by the sound of Chester's scream. I panicked and ran into the living room. To find him laying on the sofa doubled up in pain but giggling. With Shannon sat on the floor next to him looking pleased with herself.
"What's going on here. Are you ok Chaz?"
"Yeah I will be in a minute. I got a lovely wake up call from our daughter here."
Shannon just sat on the floor laughing like mad.
"Ella have you never taught Shannon the difference between boys and girls? Oh well at least there will be no more baby's for me."
I couldn't help but stand there and laugh at him. He wasn't mad about it which was great.
"Shall we get some breakfast?"
I asked them both as I walked into the kitchen to put the coffee on.
"Then we can have a little chat. There's something me and your dad need to talk to you about."
When we where all sat at the table we decided to ask Shannon what she thought about the move to LA and Chester took the lead.
"Shannon honey how would you like to come to LA"
"What for a visit?"
"No honey I think it would be nice for us to go and live near your dad"
I told her. She looked a little upset about it.
"But mom what about all my things. Will I have to leave them here?"
"Oh no honey your things will come with us"
I told her. Of all the things to be upset about. I never thought it would be something like that.
"Well mom as long as I can take my things I will go. I want to spend more time with my dad"
She said as she flashed a great big smile at Chester. He just looked so happy. I never knew how much it would mean to him. For us to move near him.
After I had finished my breakfast I got straight on the phone with Bob in La to see if he could help me with a job. He was really happy to hear from me. And he said yes to the job straight away. He told me he had a band in mind for me. But it would only be a small job to start with. Which I was more than happy about. AT least I would get to spend time with the guys. And Shannon would with her dad. And so would I and that wouldn't hurt.
"Chester I got a job."
I told him a I walked into the living room. His face lit up.
"That's awesome when do you start?"
"Two weeks but I have so much to do."
"I'll help I have to go back so I could house hunt. And enrol Shannon in school. That just leaves you with the packing and handing in your resignation"
AS he left I felt alone. I had wished I could have gone back to LA with him. But I would get to spend time with him again soon so all I had to do was wait.

.

Linkin park fan fiction... Chester Bennigton my number 1 fan. part 3

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 20:50:04 GMT

Chester Bennington my number 1 fan part 3 This is purely fiction I do not know or own I have no money so please don't sue me.

"Your up early! What's wrong with you"
Brad asked Chester as they walked along the hall in the hotel.
"So are you!"
Chester told brad with a big smile on his face.
"Yeah but only because you woke me. What's going on. You wake us all up for coffee. And your grinning like some demented cat."
Shit he knows there's something going on. What the hell they all will in a minute.
"I just thought it would be nice to have coffee together."
"Your lying I know you are but I will play along."
Brad said as they walked into the dining room to meet the other guys.
"Morning guys"
Chester said beaming from ear to ear. As he joined the other guys at the table.
"So what's going on Chaz?"
"All in good time. Can I get some coffee first?"
He told brad as he ordered.
"Is that all your having?"
"Yeah I've got plans for breakfast."
He said as he took a drink of his coffee.
"Right then guys I guess you want to know why I got you all up so early. Well there's two reasons so lets get down to it. First the not so good news. Me and Talinda are getting a divorce. We tried to make it work but it didn't."
"Oh we're sorry man."
All the guys told him. But he was still smiling.
"Right then the good news. Its kind of complicated so I will just tell you how it is. I have just found out I have another child. What do you guys think."
"Congratulations Chaz."
Mike said across the table smiling at him.
"How did that happen?"
"Well if you need me to spell it out for you Rob. When a man and a woman love each other very much."
"Ha ha very funny. I mean with who."
"Well you guys have met her. My daughter is Shannon."
"What Ella's Shannon?"
"Yeah Ella's Shannon. I found out yesterday when we went to see her."
Brad looked confused.
"So your telling us that when Ella used to hang out with us. You and her were an item. We all knew you loved her but we thought it was all one sided."
"Well you guessed wrong didn't you Phoenix. We only spent one night together but it was the best night of my life. Why did you think I was so unhappy when she left. I would have followed her if Mike hadn't stopped me."
"Mike knew. Why didn't you tell me?"
Anna said looking pissed off. Mike looked pissed off as well.
"I didn't tell you. Because it was none of our business it was there's . If they had wanted you to know they would have told you."
"Well why did they tell you? She's one of my best friends."
"They didn't tell me I caught them."
"Its true Anna I even tried to lie to him. The reason I told you all now is because Shannon and I are spending the day together. We need to get to know each other and make up for all the lost time. I just didn't want it to be an issue while she was there. Today means so much to me. So please support me. I need you guys"
"Ok we will. Does she know about you?"
"Yeah me and Ella told her last night."
"Is she happy about it."
Brad asked him. It was what they had all wanted to ask but only he had the nerve to do it.
"Yeah she is. She thinks I'm cool. She wont call me dad though. But I guess she will want to in time. She is such a great kid."
"We're happy for you. But how does Ella feel about things?"
"Better now I hope. We kind of screwed things up a bit. But we can make it right. We have to for Shannon. A think we're over fighting now. We hurt each other for nothing. But I think we can go back to being friends even if its only for our daughter."
Chester said as he looked at his watch.
"Right guys I'm out of here. Charge all this to my room."
He said as he got up to leave.
"Where are you going Chaz?"
"For breakfast with my daughter"
He said with a smile as he walked out of the room.

"Are you ok honey?"
I asked Shannon as she sat on the sofa watching a blank tv screen.
"Mom do you think he will come?"
I knew he would be here. He would never let her down. He was one of the most reliable guys I knew. If he promised her something he would keep it.
"Yeah he will be here. Its only early honey. Not everyone is up as early as we are."
Just then there was a knock on the door. And Shannon was up in a flash. And at the door before I could stop her.
"Mom he's here"
she said jumping up and trying to unchain the door. She was so excited.
"Hang on then let me get the door. Come on Shannon move. We cant keep your dad on the doorstep all day."
I said as I tried to get to the lock. He smiled at me as I opened the door. I could have melted he just looked so handsome.
"Morning Chaz. Your up early."
"Well I couldn't wait for my pancakes"
He said as he walked into the room. Shannon was bouncing all over the room. She was so happy.
"Do you want some coffee Chester?"
"Yeah I think I'm going to need a bucket full to keep up with Shannon."
He said with a giggle. As he walked over to the sofa to sit down.
"So are you looking forward to today honey?"
He asked Shannon. He was blind if he couldn't see just how excited she was.
"Yeah I cant wait for your show. Mom let me listen to your new Album today. Even with the naughty words."
She told him. She felt so grown up when I let her hear it.
"Your mom has our album?"
"Yeah she has them all. She has the dvd's as well. She said we could watch one. But she was to busy to get them for me."
"Aw that's not good. Shall I ask mom if I can get them. And we can watch one together.?"
"Yeah please"
She said bouncing around the room again.
"Ella can Shannon watch one of our dvd's. She said you was going to let her but you didn't have time to get her one."
"Yeah if you want to. There on the top shelf in my bedroom. Just go in and get one."
I said to him as he walked out of the kitchen.
"Shit! Chaz wait I will get it."
<span style="font-weight: bold;">I said as I ran out of the kitchen hoping to catch him before he got to them. But I was to late.
"What's all these Ella?"
"Oh nothing Chester don't worry about it."
I said as I tried to snatch all the letters he held in his hand.
"There all addressed to me. What are they Ella?"
"Its nothing just birthday cards. And letters I have written to you over the years. I always meant to post them to you. But I never got around to it. Please give them to me."
I said as he looked at the pile of envelopes in his hand.
"Ella why can't I read them. They were meant for me?"
"Chester its all in the past. There just letters I wrote to tell you about Shannon. And when I first left. I kind of used them as therapy to make me feel better. They wont make sense to you."
I said to him. I didn't want him to know how bad things had been for me when I left. I didn't want him to know how much I had missed him. Or how lonely I had been. But most of all how much I loved him. But I guess they belonged to him. There were photo's of Shannon when she was a baby. Picture she had drawn for him. It was only right he should have them.
"Ella are you ok. I'm sorry I shouldn't have pried into things."
"Yeah Chaz you should take them. They are yours. There are photo's of Shannon in them. And pictures she drew for you School reports. I'm the one who should be sorry. I should have sent them."
"Chester did you get the dvd."
Shannon asked as she ran into the room.
"Yeah honey I'm just coming. Are you sure Ella"
"Yeah take them. Then maybe I'll be able to move on."
I told him. I really didn't want to though. I loved him so much. When I looked at him. I knew I had hurt him to.
"Ok Ella if that's what you want."
He said as he walked out of the room. A few minutes later I heard the music. And I lay on my bed and cried. I knew I was meant to be making breakfast but I need to be alone for a while.
"Why is it taking mom so long to make the pancakes?"
"I don't know honey. Do you want me to go and see?"
"Yes please"
She said as she sat watching her father on the tv.
Where is she there's no noise in the kitchen. He thought to himself as he walked towards the bedroom.
"Ella?"
"Yeah just give me a second Chaz!"
I shouted through the bedroom door. Had I been that long. No matter how hard I tried to stop crying the tears kept coming. Then I felt someone sit on the bed. I lifted my head from the pillow and expected to see Shannon. But it was Chester who just sat there looking at me. Then he put his hand on my shoulder trying to comfort me.
"Ella you can have them back. I don't want to see you so upset."
"No Chaz its not that. They're yours and you should have them."
"Then what is it. Do you want me to go. Is having me around that painful?"
"No Chester I don't want you to go. Its just a bit overwhelming that's all. Shannon is so happy to have found you at last. You can't go she needs you. I'm ok really I said as I sat up. Lets get on with these pancakes."
Breakfast was great. I had never seen Shannon so happy. When it came time for Chester to go. She even gave him a hug. Things were going really well for them. I wanted to be happy for them. But I felt so alone. I had already lost the only man I could ever love. Now I felt like I was losing my daughter. I know I sound so selfish but that's how it felt. She was all I had in the world.

"So Chaz how did it go?"
Mike asked as Chester walked back towards his room.
"Things are great with Shannon. She even gave me a hug. Its Ella I don't know how we can do this together. I'm going to go and have a lay down. Shannon has worn me out."
When he got back to his room he looked at the letters.
Should I read them. Or should I wait till I get home. Oh I don't know. But what can it hurt.
He looked through all the letters until he saw one that was dated three days after she left.
Well I guess I should start here.
He thought as he open the envelope.

Chester I'm so sorry I left you without telling you goodbye. But I couldn't have left if I had. I just couldn't stay and see you with her I love you. I guess I always have. You have always been special to me. It wasn't until after what Phil had done. That I realised how I feel about you. I just wish you had meant it when you said you would tell her about us. You will always be in my heart. Always be the only man I will ever love.
Ella xxx

Poor Ella no wonder she didn't want me to read these. He thought as he looked for the next letter. There was one dated three months later.

Oh Chaz I wish you where here with me. I'm so scared I need you. How am I going to do this without you. Chester I'm having our baby.
I know its our baby because of what the police doctor said. Phil was careful he didn't leave anything behind it was us who wasn't careful. Oh Chester I wish you could save me this time. I wont get rid of it though. Its going to be my only chance to have a baby. Because there will never be another man for me. You're my only love.
Forever yours Ella. XXX

He wanted to cry as he read letter after letter.
I should have looked for her. We could have been a family. But then I might not have had two of my sons. He thought to himself. Then he found a letter from 1999 around the time the bad had released there EP

Hi Chaz congratulations Anna told me you about your EP I'm so happy for you. I know your band is going to be huge. I have some news for you to. You're the father of a beautiful healthy baby girl. I have decided to call her Shannon. I hope you like it. She looks like you. She has your nose. Poor thing ha ha. I wish you was here. I wish we could be a family. But I will give her the best life I can. And I will tell her what a great man her daddy is. And make sure she knows that she was made in love. I love you honey. Ps there is some baby pictures of Shannon enclosed in this letter.

I cant read any more he thought to his self. Seeing all the smudged ink where Ella's tears had hit the page. All those years ago. Even though she had tried to keep the letter light. He knew just how much pain it had caused her. Shannon really did look like me he thought. She really was a beautiful baby.
I wish I could make all the years of pain go away. But how can I. I love her so much I always have. But that just is not going to be enough.

As I walked to the backstage area of the Arena where we were to meet the guys. I was filled with dread. What would the guys think of me? Now that they new the truth about me and Chester. Would they treat me differently? I hoped not. We had been friends for so long. Shannon had been so excited all the way here. That now I just felt exhausted. Oh well it was her dads turn to deal with her now. I thought as I followed the security guard to where the guys were waiting.
"Hi Ella, Hi Shannon"
Came the chorus as we walked in to the room.
"Hi guys"
I said as I was dragged into the room by Shannon.
"Shannon you know everyone in here right?"
I said to her knowing full well that she would. Either through my obsession with the band. Or that Chester would have told her this morning. While they watched the Dvd.
"Yes mom. That one over there is uncle Mike. Chester said he might draw pictures with me."
She said pointing at Mike.
"I like to draw don't I mom."
She said to me. I just nodded at her. Where was Chester I would have thought he would be here to meet us.
"Where's my dad?"
Asked Shannon. At least I didn't have to ask them.
"He'll be out in a second he just went to"
"Hey kiddo"
Chester said as he walked into the room. Cutting Mike off mid sentence.
"Hi Chester she's a bit excited I'm afraid. She couldn't wait to see you."
His face lit up when I said that. I knew it would.
"That's cool. What do you want to do first then honey."
He said to her. She was bouncing all over the place.
"I want to play x box with you and uncle Dave."
I couldn't help but laugh. Everyone else did as well. Chester must have told her to call him that.
"Is that ok with you Phi?"
Chester asked him. While trying not to laugh.
"I would love to but only if Shannon will call me uncle Phi or Phoenix"
Shannon just looked so confused.
"Ok but Chester said that your name is Dave."
"It is honey but I don't like it much. Come on then lets go and wipe the floor with your dad."
She was so excited as she ran into the other room holding Chester's hand. As I stood there alone I felt so out of place.
"Do you want a drink Ella?"
Mike asked me as he got up and walked towards the coffee maker.
"Err yes please that would be nice."
I said to him. I wished it could be the same as before. But maybe to much time had past.
"Do you still take it the same. Its black no sugar isn't it?"
I couldn't believe he remembered how I took my coffee.
"Yeah thanks Mike."
"Why don't you sit down and enjoy the break. Let Shannon's dad entertain her?"
Mike told me as I still stood near the door where we had just come in.
"Yeah I guess I should I'm making the place look untidy."
I felt myself relax as I sat in the chair.
"So how's work going these days? I meant to ask you yesterday but I never got the chance."
"Its ok I guess. I don't get the chance of working with any of the big bands. I think maybe its because I'm a single mom. But I have a few good new groups to work with. But none of them compare to my first"
I said with a smile. Mike looked happy about that.
"Well guys like us only come along once in a while"
He said to me. I couldn't take him seriously though because he was laughing as he said it.
"I know if I had hung on to you guys for a little longer. Guess the new guy did better for you though then I could have done."
"No way. You laid the foundations he just added the finishing touches."
I wished I had been there as they had made the big time. Not just because of what it could have done for my career. But because they had deserved it. They had worked there asses off. I would have liked to have seen them reap the rewards first hand. Rather than on the tv or in the magazines.
"You should move back to California. You might find the next big thing. There are some awesome bands around at the moment."
"Yeah I will have to think about it."
"Think about what?"
Chester said as he walked into the room..
"I was just talking to Ella about work. She said her boss wont give her a chance with any of the bigger acts"
"What why the hell not. You where an awesome manager to us."
"Yeah but I abandoned you all when you needed me. And then took time off to have Shannon. All my boss sees is an unreliable single mom."
"Well if you ask me he's blind"
"Thanks Chester you should tell him that."
"Well maybe I should."
"No Chaz you can't. He will think your doing it because. Oh you just cant Chaz"
"She should move back to California don't you think Chester?"
Mike asked him. I just wished he had kept his mouth shut.
"Yeah that would be great. I could help you with Shannon. I could be a proper father to her."
"Yeah it would be great."
I said and I hoped the conversation was over.
"So why don't you do it then. I'm sure Bob would give you your job back."
"Oh Chester just stop pushing me ok. I have managed all this time on my own. I can get a job on my own in my own time."
I shouted at him. The minute I had done it I felt guilty. He just looked so sad. He had the same expression on his face that Shannon did when I punished her and sent her to bed early.
"Chester I'm sorry for shouting at you. I would appreciate any help you give me. Its just going back scares me. And I don't want people to think I had got a better job because I got knocked up by Chester Bennington."
"Why would they think that. Everyone at the office in LA knows what you did for us. They know your great at your job. I wouldn't have to say anything. And Ella nobody has seen or heard of Phil in years so there is nothing to be afraid of."
"Chester I don't know. It would be good for Shannon but!"
"I'm not going to rush you. I would love it if you did come back. But make your mind up in your own time. But we will have to work things out about me seeing our little girl."
Oh god what did he have in mind. What if he wanted her for the holidays. I couldn't bare being apart from her.
"And what do you think we should do about you seeing her?"
"I don't know. Maybe you guys could come to La and see me sometimes. And I could come out here and see you guys. I don't want to separate you. And it would be good for you to be able to hang out with the guys again sometimes. I don't know its up to you."
He has thought about it. I actually thought what he said made sense. But we will have to see if it works.
"Right guys ten minutes to show time."
Someone shouted through the door. All the guys started getting ready.
"Are you ready to watch your daddy sing?"
I asked Shannon I know she was she was running around Chester in circles.
"Yeah I can't wait. Chester what's all that noise?"
She said looking up at Chester with fear in her eyes.
"Its ok honey. Its just the crowed getting ready for us to go up on stage. They always shout like that. Do you know what there saying honey?"
"Yeah they saying I love you Mike."
"Yeah that's right. They always do. Everybody loves Mike but not your poor old dad!"
Shannon looked so sad at what he had said.
"Mommy does!"
Everyone turned and looked at me. I know I was blushing I just didn't know what to do with myself.
"Yes I know she does. I'm mom's favourite singer aren't I honey?"
Chester asked her trying to take the focus off me.
"Right are you going to walk down to the stage with me honey and you Ella for old times sake."
I was so happy to move. Everyone was still staring at me. I guess Chester didn't convince them that I loved him as a singer.
"Thanks Chaz but I don't think they bought it."
I said as we walked towards the stage entrance

Linkin park fan fiction... Chester Bennigton my number 1 fan. part 2

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 20:43:10 GMT

As Anna and I walked towards my apartment I became afraid again. I knew I couldn’t stay here anymore. It had taken ages to talk Mike into letting us come here alone. And we had to be alone for me to be able to do. What I had to do.
"Are you ok?"
Anna asked me as we walked up to the front door.
"Yeah he wouldn’t come here would he?"
I asked her. I was afraid of what she would say. So I just opened the door and walked in.
"Nobody's been here"
I told her as I walked into the bedroom and grabbed a bag. And started to put everything I thought I would need for the next few days.
"I thought you where just coming back for a change of clothes?"
"Anna I am really grateful for the offer of somewhere to stay. But I know I'm never going to be able to come back here again. And I can't stay around here any more. Every time I look around I will see him. I need to move on with my life. I think I'm going to go back home. I need time and space to think. And my mom and dad will be happy to have me home for a while."
"Will you ever come back? I'm going to miss you. So will the guys."
"I don't know. I have made so many mistakes here. It might just be better to walk away forever. But we can keep in touch. And see each other when we can. I'm sure the guys are going to make it big one day. And I hope while your all travelling all over the world. You will come and see me."
"When are you leaving?"
"Now I think. It will be easier that way. Thanks for everything Anna. And tell the guys I love them. And to never forget there number one fan."
I wanted to cry so badly. And I could see Anna felt the same way. We had been friends for such a long time now. And I knew I was going to miss them all like hell.
"Anna here's my address. If anything changes I will let you know. Please stay in touch"
I asked her as I got into the car.
"Anna can you tell Chester that I will never forget what he did for me. And that I will always be thinking about him."
"Phone me and let me know you got there ok."
As I drove away. I never felt so alone in my life. I was leaving behind the best friends I had ever had. And I knew I would never have friends like that again.
And I haven't I thought as I sat alone in my living room with the letter laying on my knee. What was I going to do. I had put them off coming here for nearly nine years. I had no choice now they were going to be here in an hour. At least Chester wouldn't be with them. Anna had written that his wife wouldn't let him out of her sight. They were always fighting these days. She didn't like all the time he spent with the guys. Or his ex wife and son. I better get myself ready I thought. I don't want them to show up. And for me to look a mess. So much had happened since I had last seen them. We were all a little older. Mike and Anna had married. Chester had divorced Sam and married Talinda. He had four sons now. The other guys were married or living together. And had kids. I had a daughter of my own. She was eight. And such a little beauty. But I would think that. She was mine. I better get her ready as well. This is an important time for us.
"Shannon can you get changed into the things I put on your bed for you. Mommy's friends will be here soon."
I shouted to her from the living room. She came walking in the door a moment later.
"Mommy I am dressed. Why are you being so fussy about your friends coming?"
"Because I haven't seen them in so long. And we want to make a good impression. They were all my best friends before you was born."
"Do they know my daddy?"
I wished she hadn't asked that. I hated to talk about it.
"Lets just hurry up and get ready ok. We will talk about it later ok."
I walked into my room and took out my best dress. And put it on. I didn't look bad for 29 I thought to myself as I looked in the mirror. I had just finished putting on my makeup when the door bell rang.
"There here Shannon. You are all clean and tidy aren't you?"
"Yes mom stop fussing. If there your friends they wont care what I am dressed like."
When I opened the door. My jaw dropped. I think I pulled myself together quickly but it was up to Shannon to save me.
"Mom that's not nice. Are you not going to let your friends in?"
"Oh what sorry, Come in guys its so nice to see you again."
I said as I stepped out of the way to let them in.
"Hey where's our hugs?"
"Aww sorry Dave"
I said I knew he hated it but I had to call him it. I hugged each one until I got to the last one.
"I thought you wasn't coming?"
I asked Chester as he hugged me tightly. I couldn't believe he was standing right in front of me.
"Who's this little beauty?"
Asked Anna looking at Shannon.
"I'm sorry guys. This is Shannon my daughter. Shannon this is Mike and his wife Anna. Chester"
"Mom I know who they are duh"
She said to me with just a touch of sarcasm.
"Wow you really are a little beauty. You look just like your mom."
Chester said smiling at her.
"My mommy says I look like my daddy."
I hated it every time Shannon talked about her dad it made me feel really uncomfortable. Now more than ever. I tried to change the subject.
"Does anyone want a drink?"
I said walking into the kitchen to make some coffee.
"I don't know where mommy's manners are please sit down everyone."
She really was such a good kid. I had never had any trouble with her. She could break the ice and talk to anyone. She was sat keeping our guests well entertained. Then the question I had dreaded came up.
"So how old are you honey?"
Anna asked her.
"I'm eight my mommy says I act to grown up though"
She told them. I had to get rid of her. Because I knew what question was going to come next.
"Shannon have you done your homework. If you haven't can you please go and do it now before dinner."
"Yes mom. I will see you later it was nice to meet all of you."
"And it was lovely to meet you to honey."
Anna said as I brought the coffee into the room. I didn't know how I was going to answer there question. But I knew it had to be done. And I know that some of them might be a little shocked. It didn't take Anna long to ask the dreaded question. I had barely had chance to pour the coffee.
"Ella your daughter is a beauty."
"Yes I know she is."
"Ella is Phil her farther?"
Shit what should I say to that one. I want the earth to open up and swallow me.
"Its complicated"
Was all that came out of my mouth.
"You don't have to hide it from us we're your friends. The dates match up."
"Anna I know you care about me but its something I just don't want to talk about."
"I think its great you kept her."
I was getting mad now. She just wouldn't get the hint.
"I kept her because she is not Phil's daughter she's mine."
"That's a great way to think about it."
She left me no choice I didn't want to do it like this. I didn't want to do it all.
"She's not his daughter. She is someone else's. Her father is no rapist he is a kind decent man. Who cared enough about me to help me. To make me feel safe and secure. Someone I thought I could love. But I never got chance to."
"That's fantastic that you met a man like that when you moved back here. You must have fallen for him very fast."
God would she never stop digging.
"No I met him before I left. It only happened once. Now can we drop it please and talk about something else?"
I could see the realisation of what I had said. Wash over Chester's and Mike's faces. God I felt so guilty, I never should have blurted it out like that. I could see Chester wanted to talk to me maybe just to make sure I wouldn't tell his wife or the guys. So I got up and asked if anyone wanted a stronger drink. I knew I wanted one
"Yes please"
Mike and Anna said. Soon all the guys wanted one.
"Chester why don't you give her a hand."
Mike said. I guess he had read all our minds. Once we were in the kitchen and out of earshot of the others Chester asked me the dreaded question.
"Is she mine Ella?"
I didn't know what to say to him. My mouth felt so dry.
"Yes Chaz she is."
"But how can you be so sure after what happened that night."
I wanted to cry. He told me he would never hurt me. I guess he lied. I couldn't hold it back any longer. As the tears rolled down my cheeks.
"Chester how could you ask me that."
I sobbed at him.
"Just look at her. Look in a bloody mirror. I don't want anything from you, You know. If I did I would have come after years ago when you first became famous. And don't worry I wont tell anyone. She will be your dirty little secret forever. Just like me."
I said as I walked out of the room and into the bathroom to make sure I looked presentable.
"Chester are you ok?"
Mike asked him as he walked into the kitchen.
"No not really. I just upset Ella she's crying in the bathroom."
"She is yours you know. She's your double. I don't know how nobody else hasn't noticed. What are you going to do about it?"
"I don't know. I really don't."
"Is everything ok in here? Where is Ella?"
Anna asked as she entered the kitchen.
"She just went to the bathroom. I think this is a bit much for her seeing us all again."
Mike lied to Anna.
"I think maybe we she go and come back tomorrow. Give her a little space."
"Yeah maybe your right Mike. I'll just go and tell her we are going."
"Anna invite her to the show tomorrow night. Tell her to bring Shannon."
Mike told her.
When they had left. I lay on my bed and cried myself to sleep.

"What am I going to do?"
Chester asked Mike when they where alone.
"I don't know, She's your daughter! I guess you didn't know about her all this time. You could pretend you never found out about her."
"But I did. I have a little girl!"
Chester said with a smile on his face.
"Are you happy about it? Anyone would think you was."
Mike said to him smiling himself.
"Yeah I guess I am. I have four boys. And now I have a little girl. But I've missed so much!"
"So what are you going to do about it?"
Mike asked him turning his question around on him. This was a good way of making him understand what it was that he wanted.
"I'm going to go and talk to Ella. I want to be a part of our daughters life. I wont let her run from me again. She's not going to hurt me like she did before."
Who the hell is at the door at this time of the night. I thought as I walked up to the spy hole.
"Shit!"
What the hell was he doing here. Had he not done enough for today.
"What do you want Chester?"
I asked as I opened the door on the chain. I was still scared of my own shadow.
"I just want to talk. Can I come in please?"
"I I ,I don't know Chester"
I said as my hand shook over the chain. What if he was mad with me. What if he came to make sure I stayed quiet.
She's afraid of me Chester thought to himself as he saw my hands shaking and heard the fear in my voice.
"I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to talk to you. Please!"
"Ok"
I said as I opened the door with shaky hands.
"I can come back tomorrow if you would feel safer."
He knew I was afraid.
"No Chester come in. Do you want a drink?"
I asked him. I knew I did. How had things come to this.
"Yeah a drink would be good."
So I walked into the kitchen and poured us both a large Whiskey.
"What do you want Chester"
I asked facing him for the first time since he had come. Looking at him hurt me so much. All the feelings I had for him came back in an instant. How could he have hurt me like that. When he promised me he wouldn’t.
"I want to talk about Shannon. Does she know about me?"
"No don't worry. Even if she did she wouldn’t tell anyone. So you can go now your secrets safe. Nobody will know you're a cheating arsehole. Don't worry none of your wives will find out."
"What? Why the hell are you mad at me? You're the one who ran away. You're the one who never said goodbye. You took my feelings and stomped all over them. It was all you."
"I had to go."
"Yeah you had to run away. Just like your trying to now."
"I'm not going anywhere you self righteous prick. This has been my home for years. I wont give it up for anyone least of all you."
"How dare you be mad with me after all you did."
"All I did huh says you. You hurt me .after you promised me you wouldn't"
"And how the hell did I do that. I never went anywhere that was all you baby. You have no one to blame but you."
"No you just used me for sex and went back to your wife"
God I was mad now. I wasn't scared of him like I thought I would be. I wanted to hit him. Which was not like me at all.
"I never used you. I was going to tell her. I told you that."
"Yeah but you lied to Mike. Made me feel like a whore your as bad as Phil was. At least he just fucked me. He didn’t do it with my feelings as well. That's why I left it was not him that would always be around every corner haunting me. It would have been you."
"I waited for months for you to come back. It drove me mad I told Sam I even thought of coming to see you. But Mike told me not to. I almost destroyed my marriage for you. You hurt me to. I had loved you for a long time. All I wanted was to be with you. But you never noticed me. All I was, was your goofy friend. Why do you think I stayed with you. Why do you think i wanted to kill him .Why do you think I risked everything to be with you. Well its to late for that now. I want to talk about Shannon."
"Did Anna give you my message?"
"What message?"
"It doesn't matter. "
"Yeah it does what message?"
"That I would always be thinking about you."
"Yeah I remember that now why?"
"I always have!"
I said as I poured us another drink and went into the living room and sat on the sofa.
"Mommy what's wrong?"
Shannon asked walking out of her room rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Then she noticed Chester coming out of the kitchen.
"Is everything all right mommy?"
She asked again looking a little afraid.
"Every things fine honey. You remember Chester from earlier. He was mommy's best friend when I lived in LA. Do you want to talk to him. While I get you a glass of warm milk?"
"Yeah mommy."
She said as I walked in to the kitchen. They needed some time together.
"You was mommy's best friend cool."
"Yeah your mommy used to come and see me and the guys play before we were famous. She was so much fun she was always out with us."
"Really mom never goes anywhere now but work."
"She doesn't' your mom was the life of the party everyone loved her."
"I can't believe you was mom's best friend."
"Yes I guess I was."
"Did you know my daddy? Was he as nice as mom said he was. He must have been for mom to love him. She doesn’t like men. And she cry's every time I want to talk about him. All she says is she loved him very much. And he would have been with us if he could have been. Mom has not had a boyfriend since dad she still loves him. She told me."
"Chester are you ok?"
Shannon asked him. Tears were rolling down his cheeks.
"Chester is my daddy dead. Is that why your crying?"
What could he say to her.
"Right here's the hot milk. Chester are you ok. What's wrong?"
I was shocked to walk in and see him crying.
"Shannon can I have a minute alone with Chester please. Then you can come and get your hot milk."
"Yeah ok mom."
She said as she walked back into her room.
"Chester what's wrong?"
He was quiet for a minute then he spoke.
"Shannon was telling me about you. And her dad. Is it true?"
"Which part? What did she tell you?"
"That you loved him. That you cry when she talks about him. That you have been alone all this time because you still love him. Is it true Ella or just something you told her to feel better."
"What I would never lie to my daughter. Yes its all true but you don't need to feel sorry for me. I loved you. I still do I always think about you. And I always cry when I do you're the only man I ever felt so close to. You're the only person who made me feel safe enough to enjoy being with them."
"Do you know she thinks I'm dead that's why you cry."
"What no. Oh god I should have come to you when I found out about her. But things where going so well for you. I couldn’t bring myself to fuck it up for you."
"You wouldn’t have. Its now everything is fucked up. What are we going to do?"
"Do you want to be her dad. Do you want to spend time with her?"
"Yes I do. More then anything. She seems such a great kid."
"She is Chaz."
"So how are we going to do this"
He asked me. Like I should just know. I had no idea.
"You need to tell your wife first. Then everyone else."
"Well I guess you can be the first to know. We're getting a divorce. She says I can't commit to anyone. That all I do is move from one person to the next. This is the best bit. That I go around spreading children like a disease. I guess she's right. Or at least she will think she is."
I was mad now. That was not the guy I fell in love with. I had known him for so long. If he had been like that I would have known.
"She is not right. You're a lovely guy. Who just picks the wrong women."
It brought back the memory of our night together. He had said the same thing to me.
"I chose the right one once. But she left me."
I felt hurt by what he had just said. He was telling me this and I loved him. It was just cruel.
"Why did you have to leave me? We could have been so happy together!"
"Oh Chaz please don't say that."
I said as the tears rolled down my cheeks.
"So what are we going to do?"
He asked me.
"Tell Shannon who you are. Shannon honey you can come and get your milk now honey."
I shouted to her.
"What now?"
"You have lost to much time with her already."
Shannon came and sat down between me and Chester.
"Shannon honey. I have got something to tell you. About your dad"
"What mommy?"
"Are you listening good and hard."
"Yes mom."
"Well when I lived in La I had a very good friend. He helped me when someone really bad hurt me. And I fell in love with him. But we couldn't' be together because he was married to another lady."
I didn’t know what else to say I was so choked up so Chester took over.
"This friend of your mom's loved her very much to. More than he thought he could love anyone. He was going to leave the other lady to be with your mom. But your mom came back here to get away from the bad man. But your mom never stopped loving her friend and he never stopped loving your mom. Do you understand that?"
"yes I guess so."
"Well when your mom came back here she found out she was going to have you. And she loved your daddy so much she didn't' want to make him sad. So she didn't' tell him about you. But that's not moms fault. Your dad should have come to look for your mom. Instead of listening to other people. Do you understand that? Your mom and dad were both silly don't you think?"
"Yeah very silly."
I needed to tell her the next part.
"Its ok Chaz I said. I'll take it from here. Your dad has just found out about you and he wants to be your daddy and see you. Do you want that honey. He really is a nice man. And he will love you so much. And you will love him as much as mummy does."
I said looking at Chester. All I could think was please god say yes.
"What do you think honey do you want to see your daddy?"
"Yes mommy more than anything."
"Shannon honey. Chester is your dad."
"You're my daddy?"
"Yeah honey I am. Do you want me to be your daddy? Is that ok?"
"Yes I think I do. You must be nice if mom loves you. Are you still with the lady?"
"No honey. I did get married again but now I'm getting divorced again. Do you know what that means?"
"Yes it means you don't love each other anymore. Do you have anymore kids?"
I knew she would have questions but they were coming so fast.
"Yeah I have four boys. You have four half brothers who would love to meet you someday. Would that be ok?"
"Yeah I guess so. When will I see you again?"
"Your going to see me again tomorrow. You're going to come and see my show with your mom tomorrow. You will get see meet all my friends. Do you want to do that. We can have loads of fun."
"And you will get to see your daddy sing. He is a great singer he's my favourite."
"Duh mom I know that you always tell me. Yeah I cant wait thanks. Mom I'm tired now can I go to bed?"
"Yeah honey you go to sleep. You can see"
I didn't know what to call him.
"Chester."
She said to me.
"Yeah you can see Chester again tomorrow. If he isn't busy he could come here for breakfast?"
I said. But I didn't know if I was rushing things.
"yeah that sounds great. If that's ok with you Shannon?"
"Yeah it sounds cool. Mom can make some mean pancakes."
"Ok then it's a date. You go to bed then and I will see you in the morning."
"Night mom, Night Chester."
"Night honey"
We both said at the same time. When she had gone Chester turned to me.
"We really fucked things up didn't we?"
"yeah I guess we did. But we can make up for it now."
"Yeah we can. Thanks Ella."
"What for?"
"For letting me be part of her life."
He said as he got up to leave.
"I better go and get some sleep. I have some explaining to do tomorrow."
As he got near the door he turned to talk to me.
"Ella I really did love you. I always will."
Then he left me alone. Now was a time I should have been crying but I felt better. I knew he meant it and that's all I had ever wanted to know. I went to bed happier than I had in years.

Linkin park fan fiction... Chester Bennigton my number 1 fan.

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 20:45:24 GMT

Chester Bennington.My number 1 fan. Lp fan fiction

This is a Linkin park fan fiction. I do not know the guys and this never happened. So don’t sue me please I am skint.

Its funny how no matter how many years pass you by. There's some thing's you remember just like yesterday. And even when you work your ass off to try and forget these thing's. They always come back to bite you in the ass.
When I was just twenty I went to see the most awesome band in the world. At the time they where not as well known as they are now. But back then Linkin park where the only band I ever listened to. It wasn't the first time I had seen them. But it was the most memorable.
The venue was small compared to what they do now. But the guys still put on one hell of a show. Like they do now. I had gone to the show with a guy I had only been dating a few weeks. I didn't know him that well. But we had a lot of fun together. So I thought it would be great to share my love of this band with him. Now I wish I had never met him.
During the show everything had gone well between us. It wasn't until after when I went over to speak to the guys in the band, Like I always had done. Right from the very first show. I knew the guys pretty well by now. But unlike most of the girls that came along to there shows. I never had a crush on any of them.
"Hey guys, you where awesome tonight. You seem to get better every time I see you play."
I said as I gave them all a hug. Like I said before we where close.
"Thanks Ella, Glad you had fun. You know where only that good for our number one fan."
Chester said to me. As he returned my hug with a tight squeeze and a slap on the back. I was sure Chester saw me as one of the guys. Which always made me laugh.
"So who's your friend?"
Mike asked me. I couldn't believe I had been so rude. But I had clean forgotten that Phil was with me.
"Oh right sorry guys. This is Phil, Phil this is Mike, Chester, Brad , Rob, Joe and Dave."
I said with a giggle. I knew just how much phoenix hated to be called Dave but I couldn't help it.
"Nice to meet you Phil. Are you taking good care of our number one groupie."
Chester asked Phil. I was mad at that moment because all he did was grunt. I didn't get it. I thought he had enjoyed the show as much as I had. So I guess I thought he would enjoy meeting the guys. I guess I was wrong.
"Can we go now Ella. Some of us have proper jobs to get to in the morning."
   I couldn't believe how rude he was being. After all these guys were my friends. I had known them far longer than I had known him. I made my apologies to the guys and left with Phil. I was so angry I knew this would be the last date I would have with him.
    When we got to his car. His whole attitude had changed. He was back to being the sweet guy I had come out with tonight. I didn't understand, Maybe he had been a bit jealous. But the guys where only friends of mine nothing more.
"Ella I'm sorry I guess I was kind of a jerk back there. I'm sorry"
He said as I sat in the passenger seat.
"Can we kiss and make up?"
He asked me as he lent over the seat and kissed me gently on the forehead.
"Ok as long as you treat them better next time. They really are great guys."
I said just before I kissed him on the lips. What was the point of holding it against him. I bet I would have acted the same if it had been a bunch of girls. Phil moved his kisses to concentrate on my neck. And his breathing had become heavy.
"Phil stop now please."
I asked him. But he never stopped. I had rushed things in relationships before. And things had always gone wrong. So this time I was determined things would be different. His kisses were becoming more forceful and all I wanted him to do was stop.
"Phil please. I don't want to do this now. Not in the backseat of a car. Please."
I was begging him as I struggled to break free of his grip. He just became rougher the more I begged for him to stop. Like he was getting off on me begging.
"Phil stop!!"
I said to him as I pushed myself upright with all my might.
"I bet you wouldn't say that if I was one of those guys. Your nothing but a whore. I know you are I have heard you know. So how many of them have you had, One, Two. Or maybe all of them"
He said as he forced himself on me again. I was so scared. I pushed him off me once again. And tried the door. But the arsehole had locked it. And what did I get in return for my efforts. A smack in the mouth that rocked my head backwards. I started to scream. I didn't think anyone would hear me. We where parked right at the far end of the car park. But at least I felt like I was doing something.
"Shut the fuck up bitch. Do you want me to hurt you again?"
He asked me but I couldn't stop myself. I hit me again this time in the stomach, Which knocked the wind right out of me. I was defenceless now as he ripped open my shirt and started to fondle my breasts. Then placing his mouth on them he bit me so hard I let out a scream.
"I said shut up. Why make this harder than it has to be.?"
He said as I continued to scream. He tried to cover my mouth but I bit him. While he was off guard I started to try and open the car door. I thought I had won. I thought I would get away as I flicked the lock and the door opened. But that's where things became so much worse. He recovered from my bite just in time to see me fall through the door. He was out of the car in a blink of an eye. I didn't even has chance to get to my feet.
"You cant get away from me the that easily"
He said as he stood over me. You could see the fury in his eyes. I should have just let him do what he wanted I thought as he raised his fist and struck me again. Blood was pouring from my nose and down the back of my throat. As I tried to roll over onto my side he caught me off guard with a swift kick to the ribs. Then he was on top of me. I screamed and screamed but I doubted anyone could hear me. And even if they did I didn't think they would come to help me.
"Shut up bitch!"
Phil shouted at me as he lifted my skirt and pulled at my pants. Then I heard his zipper. I was screaming so much my lungs hurt. All I could think was please god let someone hear me. And that was my last thought before everything went black.

"Did you guys hear that?"
Chester asked Mike.
"Yeah I did. Its probably kids messing that's all."
Mike told Chester as he continued to walk towards where they had parked the van.
"I don't know Mike. I think I'm gonna go check it out."
Chester told him as he started to walk over to where the noise was coming from.
"Hang on man. We will all go."
Mike said as they all followed Chester. As they got closer to where the screaming was coming from they saw what was happening.
"Hey get the fuck off her!"
Chester shouted across the parking lot. Then he set off running. The guys all followed closely behind. The guy stopped what he was doing. And stood up trying to pull up his pants. Then he set off running. Brad, Rob and phoenix ran after him.
"Oh my god do you know who this is."
Mike said to Joe and Chester. As he took off his coat to cover me up.
"Ella, Ella wake up. Your safe now."
I could hear my name being called, Feel myself being shaken. But it all seemed so far away. I opened my eyes to see Chester and Mike standing over me. They both looked so concerned. I tried to sit up. But my whole body hurt. Then I remembered what had happened to me. I felt so ashamed so dirty.
"Ella are you ok. Can you sit up?"
"I don't know. My head hurts."
I said as I tried to sit up. Mike tried to help me.
"Come on"
He said as he sat me up. I couldn't help but pull myself away from him. I think he read how I felt.
"I'm just going to go and see if I can catch up with the guys. Take care of her Chaz. Help her into the van. And we will take her home."
He said as he ran off in the direction the other guys had. Joe went with him.
"Can you stand Ella? I want to get you somewhere safe."
"I don't know. I hurt everywhere."
I said as I tried to stand. My skirt was up and I don't know who's jacket I had over me. But I was grateful for it as I got to my feet. And my shirt fell away. Chester was great. He turned his back as I pulled the jacket on to cover my bare chest. I couldn't hold it anymore. I bent my head and started to sob uncontrollably. I started to shake so much I thought I was going to fall. Then I felt a strong arm wrap around my shoulders and hold me steady. I didn't pull away like I did with Mike. I didn't know why. I just knew I felt safe with Chester.
"Come on. Lets get you to the van. There might be a little something in there to calm your nerves he said as he led the way to the van.
When we got to the van. I was a little afraid to climb in. What if he locked the door on me. What if I was trapped again.
"It ok Ella your safe with me. If you want I will wait out here for the guys. You go in and see if the guys have left any drink in there and get yourself warm."
As I climbed in the van. I became scared what if he was in here. I know it was stupid. I had just seen Chester unlock the door. But I was still afraid.
"Can you come in with me?"
I asked him. I know my voice was shaking as much as I was.
"Yeah sure if you want me to. Don't worry we will make sure you get home ok. And wait with you until the police come."
I didn't want to call the police. They might think it was all my fault. And I didn't want to go home. He knew where I lived. What if he came back to do it again. I stated to cry again. My whole body was in spasm as I let out deep sobs.
"Hey its ok. I'm here your safe now."
He said as he put his arm around my shoulders again. When I felt ready to speak again I looked at him and told him my fears. I was just about to finish when the guys came back.
"Are you alright Ella?"
They all asked me. I didn't know what to say to them.
"Did you get him?"
Chester asked them. He was really mad.
"No we followed him for ages but we lost him. If we had got him. I think we would have killed him. How dare he do that to anyone. Least of all our number one fan."
Mike said smiling at me. They all really where good guys. Mike climbed in the driver seat and started the engine.
"Right lets get you home."
He said as he backed the van out of its parking spot.
"Iii can't go home."
I cried as he drove out of the parking lot.
"Mike your house is closest can we take her there. She's to scared to go home."
"Yeah that's fine with me. Do you want to go to my house Ella. Would you feel safer there?"
"Are you going to stay?"
I asked looking at Chester. I knew he had a wife to get home to. But I felt safe with him.
"Yeah I can do if you want. You are safe with the other guys you know. But yeah I will stay. Is that ok with you Mike?"
"Yeah. If that's what she needs."
When we arrived at Mikes house. We where met at the door by Mikes girlfriend Anna.
"Where the hell have you guys been?"
She said until she noticed me.
"Ella what happened to you?"
I couldn't talk to her. I just started to cry again.
"Guys hurry up and get her in here. Sit her on the sofa. Mike you go and get her a drink."
She said taking charge straight away. The rest of the guys said bye and left. I think the where going to look for Phil. But even to this day I don't know if they did.
"Chester can you go and help Mike with Ella's drink."
Anna said to him.
"No Chester please don't go. I'm scared."
I said as I gripped his arm. I just couldn't bare the thought of him leaving me. I didn't feel safe.
"Its ok Ella. I will go"
Anna said as she walked into the kitchen where Mike was. I relaxed a little knowing Chester wasn't going.
"What the hell happened to her Mike"
Anna asked as she walked up to him.
"She came to the show with a guy tonight. He was not very nice   when she came over to talk to us. I know I didn't like him. Neither did the other guys. So they left instead of hanging out like she normally does. When he left the club he attacked her. I don't know how bad it was. But I do know her clothes where all torn. And he was pulling his pants up."
"Anna can Ella take a shower?"
Chester shouted from the living room. Anna came back into the living room with a large glass of whiskey. And handed it to me.
"Ella you cant take a shower honey. You have to show the police."
"I don't want the police. They wont believe me. And I feel so dirty please."
"No Ella you have to call the police. He might do it again and there might not be anyone to help the next poor woman."
I knew she was right. He might go to far next time.
"You have us. We are your witnesses. There's no way he can get away with it."When the police had been. And we had given our statements. Anna said I could take a shower. I know it sounds stupid after the fuss I had kicked up to take one. But I kept trying to put it off. But what you need to understand at the moment I was afraid of my own shadow.
"Its ok the doors are locked. And there's no way for him to get in"
Anna told me. I thinks she understood how scared I was.
"I know he cant. But I just cant get it out of my mind. I'm just so scared that if I'm alone he will get me again."
"Do you want me to sit outside the door. While you shower?"
Chester asked me. I guess he knew how safe he made me feel.
"Yes please if you don't mind. I know I am being irrational. But I just feel so scared right now."
Anna went to the bedroom to get me some fresh towels. And something clean to wear. While I finished my drink. It was my third since I had arrived. And I was starting to feel a bit sleepy.
"There's clean towels and clothes in there. You take as long as you want. She said as she walked back into the living room.
I couldn't help but keep looking around as I walked to the bathroom. I knew I was safe Chester was right beside me.
"You wont leave me will you?"
I asked Chester as I walked into the bathroom.
"No I wont leave you. I will be sitting right here."
He said showing me a spot on the floor right next to the door. I walked into the bathroom. And immediately checked the windows where locked. I had never been a person that was scared to be alone before. But now I was terrified, even with Chester on the other side of the door. I started to run the shower, and once the water was good and hot I climbed in. I couldn't just enjoy the feel of the water. I just felt so dirty. I grabbed a sponge off the side of the bath and some soap. And started to rub at my skin roughly. But it still wasn't enough. I still felt so dirty. It didn't matter how hard I rubbed. I just didn't feel any cleaner. That's when I saw the scourers that Anna used to clean the bathroom. On the side of the bath. I picked up a clean one and covered it in soap. Then I started to scrub a t my skin. The harder I scrubbed the cleaner I thought I would feel. But I was wrong. I sank down to the bottom of the bath. And started to cry loudly. The more I cried the harder I scrubbed. I knew I was making myself bleed. The water that was running of me was pink but I didn't care.
"Are you ok Ella. I heard Chester say."
But I couldn't answer him. I was to caught up in my pain.
"Ella, Please Answer me"
But I was in a world of my own. I just knew I had to get clean.
"Anna can you come now. There's something wrong with Ella. She wont answer me."
I heard the knock on the door. I heard Anna shouting. But I just couldn't bring myself to answer her.
"Oh Ella you silly girl. What have you done to yourself."
I heard Anna say as she took the scourer off me.
"Anna please no. I have to get clean."
I told her through my sobs. Then the water stopped and she wrapped a towel around me. She helped me to my feet, and out of the tub.
"Come on, lets get you cleaned up."
She said as she cleaned off all the blood with a sponge. Then she helped me get dry and dressed.
"I know you feel dirty honey. But that wont help."
And I knew she was right. But it did not change the way I felt about myself. "
"I'm going to go and make you a bed up on the sofa. I think you need to get some rest. Things will look better tomorrow. They always do."
When she had gone. I just sank to the floor and put my head on my knees and cried. Then there was a knock on the door.
"Ella sweetie, Can I come in?"
"yes Chester come in."
I said through my sobs. He walked straight over to me and knelt down.
"Hey what's all this? Why did you do it?"
He asked as he looked at the raw skin on my arms.
"I'm never going to be clean. I'm not a whore like he said I was. But now I feel as dirty as one."
I said as I cried.
"Ella Its not your fault. You never asked for this."
He said as he put his arms around me.
"No matter what he said you not a whore. I know your not. You will get over this. And you will be happy again I promise."
I wished I could believe him.
"Ella I have to be getting home. My wife will be wondering where I am."
I cried even harder at the thought of him leaving me. I was so scared and only he made me feel safe.
"Chester please don't go. I' so scared."
I cried in to his chest. Where my head was now laying. He helped me to my feet. And walked me through to the living room where Anna and Mike where sat chatting.
"Mike is it ok if I stay over. And use your phone to tell Sam where I am. Ella wants me to stay. I guess It will make her feel safer having two guys in the house."
"yeah its cool with me. But where will you sleep?"
"The chair is ok with me."
He said as he settled me onto the sofa and himself into the chair.
"Night guys."
Anna and Mike said as they turned the lights off.
"Night Ella sleep well honey. Remember I am here if you need me."
"Night Chester. Thanks."
It took a while for me to be able to sleep. But I tried to keep myself calm. And stay quiet because Chester was asleep almost as soon as he sat down. I finally drifted in to a restless sleep listening to the sound of Chester breathing and the ticking of the clock on the wall. Then the nightmares came.
I was sat alone in my apartment. Just chilling with the guys. We were having a great time drinking and chatting. Then things changed and it was just me and Chester, I know that he's married. But in my sleep I didn't care. We where sat on the sofa chatting. Then we where kissing. It was wonderful I felt normal again. His kisses where amazing but he started to push his luck. His hands were all over me. But unlike with Phil I didn't want him to stop. His lips moved down the side of my neck slowly. As his hands where on my breasts.
"Oh Chester."
I whispered in his ear. Not wanting him to stop.
"See I knew you would like it. You whore."
I wanted to scream. I started to struggle but he wouldn't let me move. Then we where back in the car. And he was no longer Chester. He was Phil again.
"Help me, Help me please. Chester where are you?"
"Ella honey its ok. I'm here."
Then I woke up. And Chester was knelt down beside me.
"Are you ok honey. You were having one hell of a dream. You were talking and everything."
Oh shit how much had I said out allowed. Oh god what if I had also been talking during the nice parts of my dream.
"No not really Chaz."
I was shaking like a leaf. I couldn't control my whole body. I don't know if it was fear or excitement. I had enjoyed the dream up until Chester had change into Phil.
"Move up a bit"
I shuffled up the sofa a bit.
"No lay back down."
He told me. I slid toward the back of the sofa. And laid on my side. He lay down next to me. And put his arms around me.
"Is that better. Do you think you will be able to go back to sleep?"
No way I thought to myself. And my shaking became worse.
"Do you want me to move? Your shaking like a leaf. You know I wouldn't hurt you don't you?"
"Yeah I know you wouldn't. You're the only person I feel safe with. Thanks for this Chester."
I told him. As I lent forward and kissed him on the forehead.
"Your welcome. Anything for my number one fan."
He said as he returned the kiss to my forehead.
"Chester I feel so safe with you. And laying like this with you I don't feel dirty anymore."
"Your not dirty. You're a beautiful women. Who just chose the wrong guy. I could kill him for what he did to you. The way he hurt you. I never could have hurt you."
He said as he kissed the tip of my swollen nose. Then he kissed all my bruises. His kisses were so gentle.
"Chester"
"oh god I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me."
He said as he pulled away. I didn't want him to stop.
"Its ok your kisses where making them feel better."
I know what I had said was wrong. I knew he was married but I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to take away the dirty feeling I felt. He kissed my swollen cheeks again. Then he kissed my lips. They where split from the repeated punches I had been given earlier and they hurt like hell. But I didn't want him to stop kissing me. His hands were caressing all the scratches And cuts on my back as he kissed me so tenderly.
"Are you ok? Do you want me to stop?"
He asked me. Like hell I did. I cant explain how much better he was making me feel. I wanted him so badly, It was kind of like if I could have him. It would remove the all the bad things that happened to me tonight.
"No Chester please don't stop."
I breathed in his ear. As I ran my hands up and down his back. I tried to remove his shirt. But my muscles hurt to much to raise it high enough. He slipped it over his body and head with ease. His body felt so amazing as I ran my hands over it gently. I just wished I could see it as well. I felt his hands working the buttons on the top that Anna had lent me. And his mouth move to my breasts. Just for a few seconds I felt myself begin to panic. I though he was going to bite me like Phil had done. But he was so gentle.
"Chester I want you. Please make it all better"
I whispered in his ear as he move his hands down and removed my pants. Then I heard his zipper and all the bad feelings came flooding back. I started to shake so badly he stopped what he was doing.
"Ella are you ok. I'm not going to hurt you."
He told me as he held me tightly.
"I'll stop, Your not ready. I'm sorry I tried to rush you. I can be such a selfish pig sometimes. Its just I wanted you so badly. I always have. I guess I'm no better then that jerk Phil."
He said as he started to sit up. I couldn't believe what he had said. He had always wanted me. I always thought he thought of me as one of the guys. I'm the one who was selfish. I had let it get this far for my own selfish purposes. I wanted him to help me forget. I had used him to help me forget what had happened. Now I just wanted him. He made me feel so safe. He was so gentle and loving unlike all the other guys I had known.
"Chester please don't go. Stay with me. Its not your fault its mine. I need you to stay. I want you. I just got scared I thought you was going to hurt me. But I know you wouldn't hurt me. Your not like Phil. Please Chester."
I sounded so desperate I know I did. But I could think of nothing else but him.
"I could never hurt you. I care about you so much. I always have. I wanted to kill him when I saw what hen did to you tonight. And believe me if I ever see him again I will. I'm not using you I want to be with you."
"I know your not."
I told him as I kissed his back and put my arms around him.
"Please lay here with me again. I need you to hold me."
I said I thought he was going to go back to his chair for a minute. I was so scared I had blown thing with him. Then he laid back down and put his arms back around me. He was the one shaking now as I covered his mouth with mine and kissed him.
"Make love to me Chester please."
I asked him. As he rolled on top of me to kiss me.
"I wont hurt you I promise."
He kept telling me as he made love to me. And as he did I forgot everything that had happened. I felt clean, as if he was my first. And in a way he was. He was the most gentle considerate lover I had ever had. And I felt myself falling for him.
"Are you ok"
He asked me as he held me in his arms afterwards. He held me so tightly until the sun came up. And mike walked in the room and spoilt everything.
"What the hell is all this?"
Mike demanded. I didn't know what to say.
"What Mike, She needed a little comfort that's all. I only held her nothing more."
And at that moment the dream was over. Chester had lied about us. So I knew he would never tell his wife..
"Well it doesn't look like it to me. And it wont to Anna so I suggest you both get up and dressed before she comes in."
He said as he left the room. And me and Chester alone.
"I'm sorry. I just couldn't let them find out about us like that. I have to tell Sam about us myself."
I didn't believe him. After all he was a guy. And I knew I would never believe another guy again.
"It ok Chester you do things when your ready. Thanks for all you did last night. I will never forget it."
I said as I pecked him on the lips and got myself dressed. And I never would forget what he did for me. For many reasons. We got dressed had coffee together then Anna took me home.